Demi Davidson: How she found herself through sobriety & self discovery.
First, tell us a little about yourself! Career, hobbies, passion?
Hello! My name is Demi Davidson, I am a native Californian but have also lived in Sedona Arizona, Atlanta Georgia and now Salt Lake City Utah. I currently work full time in real estate but my passion is running my online sobriety community Mindful Times and holding monthly sobriety meetings & meditations. My husband and I enjoy spending most of our time together exploring and we are also 2 parts of a trio on a true crime and conspiracy podcast called “Truth If You Dare”. I am also very into Law of Attraction, manifesting and meditation. Very into Dr. Joe Dispenza’s work right now and one of my favorite YouTubers is Aaron Doughty. I also listen to A TON of audiobooks. Always trying to learn more!
Why did you get sober?
1. I didn't feel in control.
I am typically a pretty well-disciplined person. I like to work out and eat healthy, but when it used to come to alcohol, it was the one part of my life that I didn't feel in control of. I felt that there was a constant internal battle between the angel and the devil on my shoulders with the devil usually winning the fight each time leaving me with feeling of guilt, shame and feeling weak.
2. I didn't like who I was becoming.
I grew up in a family full of healers (intuitive, reiki masters, therapists etc.) and always felt that I myself fell into that category. But with alcohol controlling my life, I was not able to fully tap in to these strengths. Instead of being the loving, nurturing, healing human being I believe I was put on this planet to be, I became the opposite. A hurtful, vengeful, spiteful, mean-spirited person. I never believed that's who I really was, but I knew that's who I would always be if I allowed alcohol to control my life.
3. No such thing as moderation.
This stands true for me, at least. It does seem that there are some people who can drink moderately and have a drink or two without going overboard. But when I think about alcohol as being what it really is, a toxin, then it makes me think that it isn't really possible for anybody to have a healthy relationship with alcohol because by definition it is a poison to our body. For me there was no moderation. As soon as I had one sip of alcohol, the end game was always blackout. The devil on my shoulder would take full control and become obsessed with thinking about where the next drink would come from. This made it impossible for me to ever be fully present in a situation.
4. It hurt my relationships.
As mentioned above, being intoxicated and not in control of my substance abuse made it impossible for me to ever be fully present. I would be engaged in conversations but either too drunk to fully comprehend or be obsessing about getting more drunk. This caused me to miss out on many valuable conversations and overall made people around me feel that they were unimportant to me.
5. It's unhealthy.
Point blank, whether you want to acknowledge it or not, alcohol is a toxin. It's not good for your physical or mental health. I felt like crap in both areas. It was causing me to hold on to water weight, even when I was working out like crazy, it was causing a tremendous about of anxiety and depression, it was slowing down my brain and much more. If you want to have ultimate health, you'll have to address and evaluate your relationship with alcohol.
6. I used it to numb the pain.
One of the biggest reasons I wanted to quit alcohol is because I realized that I was using it to numb the pain I hadn't been addressing due to past traumas. Suppressing emotions with alcohol only makes them worse and deeper and they begin seeping into all areas of your life. It's only a temporary band aid and you can either choose to keep patching it up or remove it and deal with the root causes of your paining order to move forward.
7. I was lacking self-respect and self-love.
By not loving and respecting my own body and setting boundaries and limitations with my own drinking habits, I was allowing others to treat me with those same standards. If you are allowing a toxic poison to enter your body on a regular basis, you are likely allowing toxic people into your life as well. Once I cut alcohol out of my life and started having more love and respect for myself and my body, I started having higher standard of people I allowed in my life as well.
8. It robbed me of my memories and experiences.
I used to drink all the time. And by all the time I mean nearly any time that I wasn't at work which was nights and weekends. The little time that I did have to spend with friends and family was often spent under the influence, therefore, I don't have the most vivid memories of experiences I wish I had remembered. I want to love my life and the people in it and I want to remember and cherish the little time that we do have here on this planet.
After trying and failing so many times to get sober, I finally decided that enough was enough. I left a 3-year toxic relationship, quit my job to find a more fulfilling one, stopped hanging out with my drinking friends, stopped putting myself in situations where alcohol would be involved and overall decided that I would make my sobriety my #1 priority.
Have you channeled your challenges with addiction into positive things?
Absolutely. I think the most effective way to stay sober is to become of service and to help not only yourself but others along the way. I created the Mindful Times community which consists of my blog, podcast and online private Facebook sobriety support group. I also hold a monthly “Meeting & Meditation” in Salt Lake City with one of my dearest friends Kambria who is a Spiritual Healer and Reiki Master. We offer a safe and loving space for people to come and talk about their struggles while also offering a guided meditation geared specifically for people who struggle with addiction.
I love powerful women!! They inspire me! Are there struggles you’ve had to overcome with your addiction being a woman that may be different for men? How did you rise above these struggles?
Not really… But I will say that when I finally did come out about my addiction, a lot of people whom I knew personally were shocked. I was always super hard working, went to the gym every morning at 5 AM (with a hangover), always had myself put together with hair, makeup etc. And I think a lot of people don’t expect people to speak out about addiction. I think a lot of people see it as shameful. I’ve also seen that when I be raw and real and put my story out there with no fear and no shame, it allows people to see how actually beautiful this journey of sobriety can be.
In 1-2 sentences, what you would say to console young, future addict Demi?
I would say - “all of the pain and suffering that you are experiencing, and will continue to experience, are for a greater purpose. I wish I could take it all away, but if I did that, you wouldn’t become the woman you are meant to be. In order to have the perspective, tools and knowledge necessary to carry out your life’s mission, you must experience these hard truths. Have faith in knowing that you will one day look back and feel grateful.”
You seem to keep in shape very well and value fitness– what are some of your favorite wellness tips?
My husband and I go to the gym about 4 days a week at 4 AM in the morning. We both work long hours and with my job and running the blog and podcast, I know that if I want to get my workouts in that I need to make them a priority. I am also very health conscious and really pay attention to the foods that I am putting into my body. I’ve also always been an athlete. I played soccer for 11 years and track for 5.
Girllllllll, that skin is glowing! What’s the secret? (If you know, ya’ll know I am very into skin!)
Thank you!! I actually use Curology. If you haven’t heard of Curology it in an online skin scare subscription company that allows you to get prescription strength topical cream without actually having to visit a dermatologist’s office. The before and after’s of my skin is shocking! I also do my best to keep my skin hydrated AND I drink a TON of water.
What was your biggest lesson learned getting sober? I know there are a lot – but what is the most valuable one to date?
That we need to heal. As a community, as a collective consciousness, as human beings, we need to heal. We are all so full of hurt and pain and instead of leaning into it we run away. We use things like drugs, alcohol, food, work, pornography, television etc. to temporarily “escape”. These feelings are inescapable and will manifest in your life in harmful ways. It's time that we dust ourselves off and prepare for battle. It's time that we take back what we lost and go to war for our freedom. Alcohol won't control us.
What a great, vulnerable interview! So proud to share your story Demi! Keep in mind everyone that everyone has struggles they go through. If you deal with them and are honest with yourself, you can and WILL overcome them.
What were some of your take aways from this blog post?
Please email me and all feedback at firstname.lastname@example.org
Thank you for your time Demi!!! I look forward to more interviews in the future!
Check out her blog at https://www.mindfultimes.co/ and also check out her post cast Mindful Times, one of her podcasts features me! https://www.addictionofchoice.com/post/my-interview-podcast-w--demi-growing-up-in-a-small-town-using-alcohol-to-cope-w--pain-trauma